I guess there really is a part of me that still fears death. Not so much dying itself, but fear of the pain my loved ones would have to endure if I was no longer in this plane of existence. It is an unbearable thought that I would never want to put anyone through. With these thoughts brings questions. Is there really an end determined for each of us? And if there is, what’s the point of worrying about it? If you die by chance or because the universe has a plan for you, what difference does it make? I guess it’s really not so much about the end, but about the life that you leave behind and the impact that you make on the lives that you touch, that really matters. Death is just another expression of life. Without death, you could not have life. It’s like the inhale and exhale of the cosmos.
Lately I have been having new people appear in my life and others who have been reappearing. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by caring people whom I love and who love me in return. I had to go through a transition of really shedding aspects of myself that were not in alignment with who I am. In doing so it created the room for people who really matter to come in into my life, or come back. By being honest with myself, I could in return be honest with those around me. Deepening the connection that we share with one another. Deeper connections bound together with compassion and understanding. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable and honest, the universe seems to reward you for your courage. It’s not always easy though…
The reason I mentioned that is because I lost a dear friend this weekend. I’m still caught in the wake confusion and sadness. Trying to comprehend the loss of someone you love is a very difficult and alien experience. I see now how everyone handles loss differently. At first I really tried to understand the reasoning behind this and how it is fair. I still don’t have a reason and in all honesty believe it is fair, but who said life is supposed to be? We all have different beliefs on what happens when someone passes. No one really knows what happens, but I suppose these beliefs are a way to ease the pain when someone is taken from this world. What remains is a void created by the collective awareness of those who have lost someone they love.
Some say that the universe, or God, has a plan for us all and when someone passes it is their time. I don’t know if I personally believe that. I do think that the universe provides for us in certain ways, but I think life is a little more of a gamble than that. When trying to come up with a reason, or something that makes this fair, I don’t see one. But I have found my own way of dealing with this loss. This reason of course differs from person to person. Everyone is entitled to a reason that helps them through these difficult times. I believe that in the wake of something tragic, the law of equivalent exchange leaves room for something positive. It brings loved ones together. It puts life into perspective. It makes you value the life that you have more, or maybe even for the first time. It shows us how valuable and fragile life is and the impact we can make when we cease to exist. It brings more attention to the way we treat others in our daily the interactions. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and that includes life itself. As cliche as it sounds, you never really know when the last time you will see someone will be, so make sure you let the people you care about know you care about them, and learn to forgive. You never know if it’s your loved ones last day on this earth, or even your own.
If you are suffering from a loss in your life, I’m sorry. I hope this helps you in some way.